Thoroughly monstrous Millies

I have seen two references to ‘Millennials’ in the last day alone, both in the type of pseudo-report that only features in the business section of advert-deficient regional publications, and both credited to middle ranking drudges from accounting firms. I just know they both drive cars which are white, German, and very expensive, and only do so because they are.

Apparently, ‘Millennial’ is the preferred term of self-reference for anyone with too much disposable income born after 1980 and therefore entering the workplace around the year 2000. Well, for a while I’ve been wondering what’s the posh equivalent of a chav (i.e. rich inbreeds with oodles of money but no taste), or if there is a short and snappy term for those tunnel-visioned drudges you knew from Business Studies who walked straight from uni into a high paying job, despite having never, ever been seen at any seminar or extra-curricular activity which might have taught them how the world is or might be.

So now I know. But as this is what they would like to be called I have no intention of appeasing them, because ridiculing such sad-acts is my twisted idea of fun.

Validating the continued existence of blander than fat-free yoghurt excuses for humanity – now that is what I call sick.

In essence, these are the kind of city workers who in the 1980’s we’d have called yuppies, or just Young Conservatives. Back then they just spoke in silly posh voices, got drunk a lot and crashed the less interesting models of Porsche. These days, apparently, they’re too busy with their smartphones to notice the world going by or to join in it.

How dumb do you have to be to spend all day on a world-changing tool which can apparently tell you anything that’s going on in any part of the planet at any given moment, but never notice the causal link between what you do to earn money and the world misery quotient?

There really must be a better term for them, or just a way of so mangling their preferred nickname that it jars.

How about…. ‘Millies’?

‘Millies’ it is then.


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